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Whispers in the Dark

Good communication between partners leads to great sex

creditedSierra MugSierra Taylor, Managing Editor

Disclaimer:  This is a column about sex and sexy things. This is meant to entertain, inform, and answer those questions you’re too embarrassed to ask.

Most of us know a major key to a good relationships is good communication. However, some of us forget that good communication is also the key to good sex.

Not many of us are gifted at communicating exactly what we want and being in between the sheets can make it even more difficult. Whether you’re looking for a way to tell your new hook-up what you want or you are trying to explore new things with an old beau, here are a few tips to communicate what you want in bed:

Have a conversation.  Before you get hot and heavy with your significant other, try having an open and honest conversation about what you want out of sex. This is the quickest way for your partner to know what you do and do not enjoy. Having this conversation may seem a little nerve-racking but it will be better for both of you in the end. To begin you might ask your partner about their favorite fantasy or what turns them on.

Let your hands do the talking. Not all communication is verbal. In the midst of getting hot and heavy you are not really able to express what you want in correct sentence structure, so non-verbal communication is key. If you want their hands somewhere, guide them.

Be adventurous. Sex is about exploring your body with someone you like, so ease up with the nerves and have fun. If something intrigues but intimidates you, my advice is to do it. You will never know what you do or do not like without experimenting.

Be positive. If there is something your partner does that you do not like, the key is trying to find the best way to tell them. If you do not enjoy something, tell them what you want in positive statements.  Let’s say your partner is bathing your ear with their saliva, instead of saying “gross” try telling them it takes you out of the moment.

If you enjoy something, let it be known. Communicating is not just about directing clueless partners to certain areas of your anatomy, it is also about letting them know when they are doing something right. If you’re having a good time, make a sound, wiggle, let it be known.

It is great to know what you want in the bedroom, but most of us struggle to know what we want for dinner. You are not alone if you are clueless about what you need in the bedroom, so communicating it can be down right impossible. Sex does not have to be awkward and change does not have to be bad. Simply opening up to new ideas and letting you partner know that you want to experiment, can create a whole new sexual experience. So lets talk about sex, baby…

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